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Consistency - The hardest, best lesson to learn

If you only take one thing from this entire website, please make this post the one. This is the main event, the big kahuna, this is the one thing you NEED to learn. It's a big thing and a small thing. YOU MUST LEARN THIS ...Be consistent. That's it. It is that easy and that GD hard. If you say it, mean it. If you meant it, follow through. Say what you mean and mean what you say. It seems very trite, but trust me, this is the ONE THING. The one thing that if done correctly can eliminate almost all other actions. If you can master this, the road gets sooooo much easier. But it is super hard. It is so easy to give in. To stop the screaming/fighting/meltdown by giving them what they want, but if you already said no, you HAVE to stick to it. (See Don't say "NO" too quickly)

This was Nugget's biggest issue. He was unable to figure this out. He thought the Great Threat was going to work (even though it had not worked on him). He used it over and over and over. "I'm going to put you through a wall", "You are grounded for a year", "I'll slap the taste outta your mouth" All the great stuff we all heard growing up. But here's the difference. We were scared straight. The Great Threat worked because we had a healthy fear of our parents and we wanted them to please them RAD kids just laugh at you and think "go ahead and give it a shot" and when you don't, you lost every bit of credibility you ever had. These kids have already been through the mill so they learn early that threats aren't real until they are. They push every boundary to see where the line is. They want the boundaries, deep down they know they need them, but they fight them as well. Fighting has become such a part of their life, that they don't know what to do without it.

I saw one person lose her credibility in one sentence. Chicken had a new friend and this friend and her mom came to the house. I was running to the grocery store and Chicken didn't like it. The mom unknowingly tried to reassure her and said, something like "It's okay, Mom's don't leave". She had no idea what Chicken had been through and that one sentence was enough to make Chicken look at that mom differently. It was just an innocent utterance on her part but to Chicken it was a telling thing. She never trusted anything that women said again. It was instant and irrevocable.

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